Some movies have been so ubiquitous on basic cable that it’s virtually impossible not to have seen them at least five times over the years. That is certainly the case with this one, but I’d never seen more than about 10 minutes of it before. I can already hear you deadpanning at your screen, “Surely, you can’t be serious.” I am serious. And don’t call me “Shirley.” Originally from the summer of 1980, but forever enshrined in broadcast reruns, this is “Airplane!”
A quick, related aside about modern home viewing. Many discs are authored to include a giant MPAA rating banner just before the movie itself begins. The “Airplane!” Blu-ray is one such disc, so I was very much aware of the movie’s rating before the opening sequence. “PG,” it read in letters that seemed to take up a quarter of my TV. I’m remarking on this here because, like “The Goonies,” this would never get by the ratings board with that today. Also like “The Goonies,” this is from a time before “PG-13” existed. The two movies differ in this area in that I honestly don’t know how this movie didn’t get an “R,” which was definitely an option. “Airplane!” is quite a bit dirtier than a lot of Monty Python sketches that come to mind. In its original, theatrical form, this movie is not appropriate for kids. I’m curious now just how much is scrubbed for its endless daytime cable broadcasts. Now, with that out of the way...
The movie is so full of jokes, gags, and quips of every kind that it’s practically overflowing. My colleague Andrew pointed out that it is scientifically the funniest movie ever made by a metric of jokes per minute. I don’t doubt it. Having now watched it twice, I suspect I could watch it 20 more times and catch at least one new thing each time. There’s a fairly thin plot that serves as both homage and parody to the disaster movies of the 1970s, but mostly it’s just a vehicle for any brand of comedy that might get someone in the audience to laugh. There’s slapstick, political satire, deadpan, sight gags, and just about anything you might think of. What’s amazing is how well-executed they all are. Please pardon the expression (I already hate myself a little for it), but nearly every joke lands. The writing is very clever, and occasionally stupid in clever ways. A bit about Robert Hays’s ticket at the beginning of the movie exemplifies the latter. The timing of the actors’ delivery is perfect, never missing a beat except when it makes things funnier. There are even quite a few cameos by some of the giants of stage, screen, and sports(?!). Essentially, nothing here doesn’t work.
In case you couldn’t tell already, I had a lot of fun watching this movie. I think I am glad that I didn’t see it when I was too young, but I’ve probably still put it off longer than I should. The plot provides just enough of a continuous thread that transitioning between skits and jokes makes a kind of sense and doesn’t feel disjointed. Stick around through the credits for a few extra jabs and the earliest post-credits stinger that I’m aware of. I give the movie an A. You know, for “airplane.” I did make that terrible joke. And stop calling me “Shirley.”